How do you put a condom on a elephant?

You take the c out of ice and the f out of weigh.

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Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and an elephant?

Big holes all over Australia!

What do you get when you breed an elephant with a rhino?

A visit from the university board of ethics.

Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

What kind of condoms do frogs wear?

Rib-bed

What's the worst thing a girl can wear to bed?

A condom

F Jokes More F Jokes

What word starts with F and ends with UCK?

Firetruck

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?

Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

C Jokes More C Jokes

What does a computer say when it encounters a skunk?

C: PU!

What is dark and hairy on the outside, soft and moist on the inside, starts with a C, ends with a T, and has a U and an N in it?

A coconut

Ice Jokes More Ice Jokes

What did the eskimo say when her water broke?

Oh no, my ice cracked!

Why did the fisherman drill a hole in the ice?

For the Halibut

Weigh Jokes More Weigh Jokes

How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about .2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.

What do you have there?

Me: struggling, crawling to his car because my backpack is weighing me down Ham.