How do you put a condom on a elephant?

You take the c out of ice and the f out of weigh.

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Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

How do you fit an elephant in a Safeway bag?

Take the 'F' out of safe and the 'F' out of way.

Why did the elephant cross the road ?

Because the chicken was having a day off !

Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

What do you call a condom full of money?

Johnny Cash.

How are condoms like cameras?

They capture your special moments.

F Jokes More F Jokes

How do you get a little old lady to yell the F word?

Get another little old lady to yell "Bingo!"

How do you get an elephant into a Safeway grocery bag?

You take the "S" out of safe and the "F" out of way. One of my all time faves. If you say it out loud it will make sense :D

C Jokes More C Jokes

Why did the scuba diver drop out of graduate school?

Because he was always below a C

Why are blind people bad at programming?

Because they can't C

Ice Jokes More Ice Jokes

What did the police officer want from the criminal store?

Just ice.

Why should you never tell jokes on the ice?

The ice might crack up! I use this at the beginning of conversations... it's a reall ice breaker.

Weigh Jokes More Weigh Jokes

Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?

He wanted to see how much the milky weighed!

How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus weighed 4.2 kg?

Cause thay had a weigh in the mangor.