How do you put a condom on a elephant?

You take the c out of ice and the f out of weigh.

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Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

What do you call a rhinoceros crossed with an elephant?

el' if I know."

Why do elephants paint their toe nails red?

So they can hide in cherry trees. You've never seen an elephant in a cherry tree? They're pretty good at it.

Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

What's the difference between a condom and a coffin?

Well, both carry stiffs, but one's for coming and the other's for going.

Why don't Brazilians wear condoms?

Because they all pull out.

F Jokes More F Jokes

Why does the USA use F?

The rest of the world has varying degrees of communism.

What word starts with F and ends in uck?

Firetruck. The answer is Firetruck.

C Jokes More C Jokes

What did C say to E?

She wants the D.

What's the integral of 1/cabin with respect to cabin?

Person 2: A log cabin! Person 1: No, a houseboat. You forgot to add the C!!

Ice Jokes More Ice Jokes

What Metallica song does Captain America hate?

Trapped Under Ice.

What do you call a dad that has fallen through the ice?

A Popsicle.

Weigh Jokes More Weigh Jokes

Where do you go to weigh a pie?

Somewhere over the rainbow weigh a pie. (sounds like way up high)

Where do they weigh whales?

At the whale weigh station of course.