How do you put a condom on a elephant?

You take the c out of ice and the f out of weigh.

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Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

What's the difference between an Elephant and a post box?

Well, if you don't know I'm definitely not asking you to mail this letter for me.

Where would you find an elephant ?

Pupil:"You don't have to find them they're too big to lose !"

Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

How does Justin Bieber remove a condom?

He farts.

What are the most useless items ever invented?

A: Condoms. If you need one, she's too old.

F Jokes More F Jokes

How do you get a full grown elephant on to the subway?

You take the "S" out of "Sub", and then you take the "F" out of "Way".

How do you fit an elephant in a Safeway bag ?

You take the "F" out of way.

C Jokes More C Jokes

Which of these three does not belong: (A) a lobster, (B) a flounder, or (C) a Korean man who has just been run over by a bus?

The answer is (B) a flounder. The other two are crushedAsians.

Why isn't the speed of light Asian?

Because it never gets better than a 'C'.

Ice Jokes More Ice Jokes

How do you stir up the politics in a Coca Cola drink?

You add ices.

What happens when you drop a whale on thin ice?

Her: What You: It breaks the ice. Hi, i'm (your name)

Weigh Jokes More Weigh Jokes

Where do you go to weigh a pie?

Somewhere over the rainbow weigh a pie. (sounds like way up high)

How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about .2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.