How is Jerry Sandusky like a tortoise?

He gets there before the hare

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Why did the bald man draw rabbits all over his head?

From a distance they look like hares!

Why did the tortoise get arrested?

Because he got there before the hare.

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Why don't tortoises wear scarves?

They have turtlenecks

Who would win in a race?

The Tortoise or the Reddit Servers

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What did Pink Floyd say to Jerry Sandusky?

Hey, teacher, leave those kids alone!

What does Jerry Sandusky and a Silver Medalist have in common?

They both came in a little behind!