How many cuckolds does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. Somebody else does the screwing for 'em.

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Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many terrorists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

none, they blew it up already.

Why did the chicken walk into the bar?

To screw in the lightbulb.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many Ellen Paos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. The mods do that for her.

How many aspiring actresses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know - normally they screw in the casting director's hot tub

Somebody Jokes More Somebody Jokes

How did the 5-year old girl fall off of the tire swing?

Somebody shot her.

When do accountants laugh out loud?

When somebody asks for a raise

Them Jokes More Them Jokes

Why are the mountains in Switzerland called "the Alps"?

Because when people fall off of 'em, they yell AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLPPPP!!!!!!!!

What do men and hardwood flooring have in common?

Lay 'em right the first time and you can walk all over them the rest of your life!