How many retards does it take to change a light bulb?

Well, line up so that I can find out..

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How many retweets to let me take your sister to prom?

A student walks up to his friend a week before prom and asks, "Hey, how many Twitter retweets do i have to get to take your sister to prom?" His friend says, "Dude, she was abducted! She's been missing 3 weeks, you know this!" The student says, "So you're saying if i find her, i can take her?"

Why did the oven go back to University?

To get another degree. My sister thought it up and found it so funny she called to tell me.

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How many yankees fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They'll just stand in the dark talking about how good the old one was.

How many friendzoned guys does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they'll just keep complimenting it and get mad when it doesn't want to screw.

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How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it and three to write the environmental-impact statement.

How many line dance instructors does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Five!...Six!...Seven!...Eight!

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What do you call a retard who is super high?

a baked potato lol xD

When is the only time you can park like a retard?

In a handicapped spot.

Line Jokes More Line Jokes

What's white and in the men's 100M final?

The lines.

What did the pig say when he found a line of ants in his trough?

Mmm. Canapes."