What about a nice cream pie?

She asked. "Except that." I replied.

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Where am I?

Dad: GO ASK YOUR MOTHER!

When a cop pulls you over and asks, "Papers?

answer "Scissors." then drive away..

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Whats with the wheel on your john?

the pirate replied, "Arrg it's driving me nuts!"

What's up, punk?

Nothing," he replied, "I've just never seen a man using hair rollers before."