What are the best kinds of speedbumps?

Orphan shaped ones.

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What kind of woman are the most irrational?

The ones with the golden proportions!

How can you tell which Russian olympic spectators are actually KGB agents?

The ones with food.

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What shape gets rid of curses?

A hexagon

What shape is your hair in the morning?

A wrecktangle. (Made up by my 10 year old daughter :)

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What did one orphan say to another?

Get in the Batmobile Robin.

Why are orphans unable to play baseball?

They've never known what home is.