What if Stephen Hawking is the real Slim Shady?

But we'll never know, because he can't stand up?

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why won't the Alzheimer's patient pay attention to you?

Because he doesn't know the time of day.

What's your answer?

whispers into microphone* Please help me, I don't even know these people

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

Where are you going?

Me: Out. I can't stand being hemmed in by four walls. Wife: How many walls has the pub got Five

Why do flamingos stand on one leg?

Because if they didn't they'd fall over.

Stephen Hawk Jokes More Stephen Hawk Jokes

What's black and is on top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking after a housefire.

Why doesn't Stephen Hawking need a wife?

Because he has his own shoulder to cry on. Edit: all credit goes to /u/Earleebird who posted it in a comment in /r/oldschoolcool