What can be found in a Judge's freezer?

Just ice.

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Why did the pirate date the mermaid?

He thought finding X in her algebra would lead to booty.

How do you find white shirts on the Internet?

Use a starch engine.

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What did Harry Potter order when he went to the bar?

Expecto-Patron-On-Ice

What did water say when ice farted?

Ice melt it.