What did Jesus say when he made his return?

Hey guys! What's goin on Tweet my return! #JesusReturns"

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Why so down?

Aquaman: People think I'm not a real superhero. I'm tired of being walked all over. *Jesus enters Aquaman: Dammit!

What does the 'H' in Jesus 'H' Christ stand for?

Haploid

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What is the difference between a magician and Bernie Sanders?

The magician returns your wallet at the end of the performance

Why did Napoleon return from exile?

He needed more Elba room.

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What am I doing with the rest of my life?

I don't even know what I'm doing with the rest of this tweet...

How many teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It takes 1 to screw it in, and 99 to tweet about it.