What did Jesus say when he made his return?

Hey guys! What's goin on Tweet my return! #JesusReturns"

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Why doesn't Jesus like M&amp?

Ms? They keep falling through. If that's not offensive enough, replace it with black Jesus and skittles.

What would Burger Kings slogan be if Jesus founded it?

Have it Yahweh

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Why did the storm trooper return his iPhone?

Because it wasn't the droid he was looking for!

What's the difference between Jesus and other carpenters?

Jesus may actually return some day.

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What do birds give out on Halloween?

Tweets.

Why did you leave your last job?

I had a typo in a tweet. "Mistakes happen!" -I worked for Yahoo Finance. "Thanks for coming in. Bye"