Why can't we edit tweets?

Because if we could I would edit a tweet with 2,000 retweets to say "RT if you hate puppies and babies."

Previous Random Joke Next

Puppy Jokes More Puppy Jokes

What's the difference between a surgeon and a puppy?

If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour it'll probably stop whining.

Why did Ellen Pao punch the puppy?

Cause shes terrible.

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why did people hate going on road trips with Kurt Cobain?

Because he always called shotgun

What Metallica song does Captain America hate?

Trapped Under Ice.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

Who's there ! Baby ! Baby who ?

Baby love my baby love.... !

What brings no babies?

The Swallow.

Edit Jokes More Edit Jokes

How many "friend zone" guys does it take to put in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter how many. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw. Edit: Credits to Drougen for making it better.

What do blondes and computer have in common?

You never appreciate them until they go down on you. edit: computers

2000 Jokes More 2000 Jokes

Why didnt Craig buy Anne Franks shoes on Ebay for 2000$ ?

They were Holo-costly

What do you call 2000 mockingbirds?

Two kilomockingbirds (credit goes to my old physics book)

Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

How is it May already?

Day coming up tomorrow where people who don't know how calendars work tweet.

What's it like to tweet "My cat sneezed" and get 500 RT in the first minute ?

My cat would be dead before I got 50