What did Marily Monroe and Lee Harvey Oswald have in common?

They both banged JFK

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What's the difference between former House Speakers Hastert and Pelosi?

Pelosi helped little boys. Hastert banged little boys.

What's the best thing to do with a thimble?

Bang it with a drum-thtick!

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Why didn't JFK ever like vodka?

Because he couldn't handle a few shots

Why couldn't JFK be a boxer?

He couldn't take shots to the head.