Jfk Jokes

Why JFK doesn't wear hats?

It is an airport.

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Why didn't JFK ever like vodka?

Because he couldn't handle a few shots

What did Marily Monroe and Lee Harvey Oswald have in common?

They both banged JFK

What did JFK say about his multiple affairs?

I did them not because they were easy, but because I was hard."

What do you get when you order a JFK?

An americano with an extra shot

Why couldn't JFK be a boxer?

He couldn't take shots to the head.

What was the last thing that went through JFK's head?

A bullet.

What did JFK say before going to visit Marilyn Monroe?

I choose to go to Marilyn's hotel room this night and do the naughty things, not because she is easy, but because I am hard.

How do we know JFK was a fan of PDA?

He was all over his wife at the parade

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Bullet Jokes More Bullet Jokes

Why didn't the bullet have a job?

It got fired.

Who is the prettiest of my friends?

Me: your mother, why W: Stop acting like you're 12. M: (thinking) I dodged that bullet again.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What is that thing, which the maker cannot use, and the user cannot see?

Coffin

What's the only thing worse than a poop joke?

A corny poop joke. You can really visualize it.

Bang Jokes More Bang Jokes

What do a hot girl and my little toe have in common?

I bang them both on my coffee table at night.

What do you get when you cross a drunk woman with a tactical grenade?

Flash-banged. )

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

Why were the people in the Twin Towers disappointed on 9/11?

They ordered 2 pepperoni pizzas, but all they got were 2 large plains.

What does M.Night Shyamalan always order when he goes out for ice cream?

A large twist cone.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What does Fabrizio like to put on his sandwiches?

Mustardo!

What kind of olives do I like?

Olive them

Parade Jokes More Parade Jokes

Why is it good that accordionists have a half-ounce more brains than horses?

A: So they don't disgrace themselves in parades.

How many gears does a French Tank have?

5. 4 reverse and 1 forward for parades.

Shot Jokes More Shot Jokes

Why couldn't JFK be a boxer?

He couldn't take shots to the head.

What do you call a Car Bomb shot with a shot of Fireball?

A Paul Walker.

Plane Jokes More Plane Jokes

How do you know that a plane from the UK has landed?

An hour after its landed its still whining.

Why can't the plane fly?

Because it's grounded.