What did she say about me?

Friend: She said you ask too many questions Me: She said that Too many questions Really Me ...What else

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Why didn't the terminator upgrade to windows 10?

I asked him and he said, "I still love vista, baby!"

What did the pot-smoking alien say when asked what toppings he wanted on his sammich?

Ayy lil' mayo.

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How does a witch make scrambled eggs?

She holds the pan and gets two friends to make the stove shake with fright.

Who Wants to be a Millionaire Me: I'm stumped. Can I phone a friend?

Host: What's your friend's name Me: Wikipedia.

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What did the gangster's son tells his dad when he failed his examination?

Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours, but I told them nothing!!!"

How many members of a certain demographic group does it take to perform a specified task?

A finite number: one to perform the task and the remainder to act in a manner stereotypical of the group in question.