What did the homeless yogi say when told to leave the yoga studio?

Nah, I must stay.

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What do you call an Irish man who won't leave your porch?

Paddy O' furniture

How do you mess with a blind person?

Leave the plunger in the toilet.

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How do you know when a vegan gets to the party?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

How do mathematicians scold their children?

If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times ..."

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What always stays hot in the refrigerator?

Horseradish

Why can't Russia extradite US top-secret whistle-blowers?

Because they're Snowden (snowed-in). To all the folks on the East coast, stay safe and warm.

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What about "BusinessMyspace"?

Nah, it's taken. Okay, what about "LinkedIn"

How many anti-feminists does it take to screw the light bulb?

Anti feminists? Nah, they can't screw