What do (does?) Rihanna and Onion Rings have in common?

They're both battered.

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What's black, red, and blue all over?

Rihanna.

What's Rihanna's favorite love song?

I can't feel my face when i'm with you"

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What do all battered women have in common?

In a frustrated voice) They just don't listen.

Why are radios cheaper in Scotland?

Because the boxes are battered and and the speakers are fried.