What do Godot and my wife have in common?

Both are French.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do you tell your wife with two black eyes?

Nothing, you already told her twice.

Why doesn't Stephen Hawking need a wife?

Because he has his own shoulder to cry on. Edit: all credit goes to /u/Earleebird who posted it in a comment in /r/oldschoolcool

French Jokes More French Jokes

What do you call a guy who pretends he can speak French?

A francophony

What did the French man say when he tripped down the stairs?

Eiffel.