What do Kim Kardashian, and my girlfriend have in common?

They're both made up.

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What did the skunk use to contact his girlfriend?

A: His smellular phone!

What's the worst thing about your girlfriend having a miscarriage?

Trying to look upset.

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What do you say when Kim Kardashian burns to the ground?

Look at all that ash...

What do Kim Kardashian and Hurricane Sandy have in common?

They will both blow the entire east coast just to get on TV.