What do maimed people drink at 5PM?

An amputea

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why shouldn't you invite a duck to go out drinking?

Because it would be a party fowl.

Why do ghosts like going out?

So they can drink boo-ze and get sheet-faced.

People Jokes More People Jokes

What is the difference between Digg and Reddit?

People can Voat.

What do you get when Sleeping Beauty gives a lecture... What do you get when Sleeping Beauty gives a lecture on the Northern Lights to the people of Wonderland?

Aurora boring Alice.