What do maimed people drink at 5PM?

An amputea

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why does Bernie Sanders only drink skim milk?

He can't stand the 1%

Why don't women drink beer at the beach?

Because they'll get sand in their Schlitz.

People Jokes More People Jokes

What did the cannibal say to his co-worker?

You should stop by later. The missus and I are having people for dinner.

Why are British anti-smoking PSA's often made by homophobes?

Because they want to prevent people from bumming fags