What do you call a dissection performed by drunks?

An Autipsy.

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What do you call it when a Dinosaur can't perform in bed?

A reptile dysfunction. Thank high me for that one.

How many members of a certain demographic group does it take to perform a specified task?

A finite number: one to perform the task and the remainder to act in a manner stereotypical of the group in question.

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What do you call a drunk who happens upon the scene of a crime?

an innocent bystumbler

How many drunks does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one. He holds the bulb and the room spins.