What do you call a dissection performed by drunks?

An Autipsy.

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How does a Metal Wizard perform his spells?

He ChromeCasts. anDruid humor.

What did the veterinarian performing canine reproductive surgery say to the veterinarian with over productive saliva disorder?

Spay it don't spray it.

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What are you gonna be for halloween?

Me: Drunk!

What do you call a drunk who happens upon the scene of a crime?

an innocent bystumbler