What do you call a dissection performed by drunks?

An Autipsy.

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What band performed at the Jefferson memorial?

Nickelback

What do you need to perform a fair test in a mental asylum?

A control freak.

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What's the difference between a drunk and a stoner?

A drunk drives right through a stop sign, a stoner waits for it to turn green.

What do you call a drunk who happens upon the scene of a crime?

an innocent bystumbler