What do you call a humpless camel covered in plastic?

Llamanated

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What is hot and makes me hard?

Being covered in lava.

Who do you think was sent to cover the story of the baby lion born in the zoo?

A cub reporter.

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Why are all the plants at the retirement home made of silk and plastic?

Because everything that stays there just ends up dying.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a newspaper bag?

One is made of plastic and poses a suffocation hazard to small children. The other one contains newspapers.