Plastic Jokes

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a Xbox?

They're both made of plastic, and little kids turn them on.

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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a paper bag?

One is made of plastic and is very dangerous for little kids to play with. The other carries groceries.

Why are all the plants at the retirement home made of silk and plastic?

Because everything that stays there just ends up dying.

What do you call a humpless camel covered in plastic?

Llamanated

What's the difference between a round piece of plastic and a babies head?

I don't use a round piece of plastic as a shift knob.

What's the difference between a plastic tube and an adjustable spanner ?

Both of em are in plastic, except for the adjustable spanner

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a newspaper bag?

One is made of plastic and poses a suffocation hazard to small children. The other one contains newspapers.

Why do they ask you if you would like paper or plastic at the grocery store?

Because baggers can't be choosers,

What does Michael Jackson and an xbox have in common?

They are both made of plastic and get turned on by children!

What do you call the piece of plastic behind the windshield in an Iraqi car?

A Daeshboard

Which is more environment-friendly: Facebook or r/jokes?

Facebook produces too much plastics while r/jokes has 100% recycling rate.

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Why do they ask you if you want paper or plastic at the supermarket?

Because baggers can't be choosers.

What's the expiry date on plastic?

81(http://i.ytimg.com/vi/UYwYdFdoecA/0.jpg)

What is the cost of plastic surgery?

Doctor: It is near about 10,000$. Patient: Well, what if we arrange the plastic

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What does a blonde and a tornado have in common?

They both start blowing but in the end they take everything from you.

What happens to superficial people when they die?

They end up in a shallow grave.

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What do you call a vegetable/fruit that dies for it's religion?

A Tomartyr

What animal spins around about 200 times after it dies?

A rotisserie chicken

Michael Jackson Jokes More Michael Jackson Jokes

What does Michael Jackson and an xbox have in common?

They are both made of plastic and get turned on by children!

What gets whiter as it gets dirtier?

Michael Jackson!

Plastic Wrap Jokes More Plastic Wrap Jokes

What did the Psychiatrist say to the man who walked in wearing nothing but plastic wrap?

I can clearly see ur nuts.

Why did linkin park wrap themselves up in plastic wrap before they jumped off a cliff?

So in the end they didn't even splatter.

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How do you make black people break out into song?

Put em' to work!... On a gospel record.

What's the best way to make a girl weak in the knees?

Kick em.

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

How many Duggar does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw children, not light bulbs.

Why do women and children evacuate first in an emergency?

So the men can go on Reddit and repost this joke.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What do you call an Asian wearing contacts?

Customization. GET IT CUSTOM EYES ASIAN!!!

Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work!

Carry Jokes More Carry Jokes

Why can't the cops keep calm and carry on ?

Because they carry guns instead

Why do postmen carry letters?

Because the letters can't go anywhere by themselves.