What do you call a projectile that is very good at finding friends?

A homie missile.

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What's worse than getting AIDs?

Having to find out that your dog has AIDs too.

What did the farmer say when the police found the gate from the public footpath in his barn and accused him of stealing?

That's not my stile.

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What should I do?

Me: Court her. Friend: Dude, I don't have any change...

Why did the painter from Boston have trouble making friends?

He was way too autistic for his own good.