What do you call a retired professional swimmer?

Washed up.

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Retire Jokes More Retire Jokes

Where did the engine go after he retired?

To live in a motor home

What's a shy and retiring accountant?

An accountant who is half a million shy and that's why he's retiring.

Wash Jokes More Wash Jokes

What do you get when you mix a Mexican and an octopus?

I don't know, but it sure can wash a lot of dishes.

What's the best part about showering with a 5 year-old?

The water washes away her tears