What do you call a wizard with a good outlook on life?

An Opti-Mystic.

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What did Hillary say when she lost?

Putin end to my life.

Why is there no life on Mars?

No WiFi...

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How many wizards does it take to change a lightbulb?

Depends what you want it to change into...

Why is Bill Cosby like the The Wizard of Oz?

Cosby Cosby Cosby Cosby cos, because of the wonderful things he drugs