What do you call always having a date for New Year's Eve?

Social Security.

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What's the best part about dating a homeless chick?

You can drop her off wherever.

What brings you to speed dating?

Me: I just ran out of the fancy shampoo my previous GF bought for me.

New Year Eve Jokes More New Year Eve Jokes

What do you call always having a date for New Year's Eve?

Social Security.

What song do pigs sing on New Year's Eve?

Auld Lang Swine.