What do you call an Asian who's tolerable some of the time?

Occasionally (OK Asian Lee).

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What did Water say to Fire when they met for the first time?

Shhhhhhh.

How many times does a woman laugh after you tell her a joke?

Three. When you tell it to her, then when you explain it to her, and then when she gets it.

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Why isn't the speed of light Asian?

Because it never gets better than a 'C'.

How do you confuse an asian?

Put a steering wheel in front of them