What do you do if your wife starts smoking?

Slow down and use lubricant.

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Why does Bob Ross not use a condom?

Because he doesn't make mistakes, only happy little accidents.

What do you call an outdated joke that, while sharp, has little potential for laughs?

I used to know, but then I took an arrow to the knee

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What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Slow down, and possibly use a lubricant

What do lesbians use for lubricant?

Tartar sauce!