What do you say when you are trying to scare your girlfriend?

Boo bae! (Read aloud please)

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What's the definition of a good actor?

Somebody who tries hard to be everybody but himself.

How do you get a date on Tinder?

Seriously guys, I've been trying for months so if anyone have any useful tips it would be much appreciated.

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What do drug dealers sit on?

KUSHions please tell me that joke is funny, my girlfriend is trying to tell me that it isn't funny. We all know it is.

What did celery say when he broke up with his girlfriend?

She wasn't right for me, so I really don't carrot all.

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What is bronze?

Read a book, you dummies.

How does a Russian Aeroflot pilot navigate?

By reading street signs.

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What happens when you scare an old lady?

Depends.

Why was the cow scared about going into the slaughter house?

His life was at stake. Badum psh.