What do you tell your wife with two black eyes?

Nothing, you already told her twice.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did the sniper say to his wife when he came back from work?

I missed you

Why would my wife ask if I was wearing this shirt when it's already on?

Stop talking in secret code.

Black Eye Jokes More Black Eye Jokes

Where'd you get that black eye?

Me: My girlfriend gave it to me. Him: I thought your girlfriend was out of town. Me: I did too...

What do you tell a man with two black eyes?

Nothing, he's been told twice already. (And be cool, if you get the reference keep quiet and let em wonder.)