How can I buy the New York Times?

He replies "Ask my wife. She'll tell you how you do it.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

How do you get your wife to listen to every word without interrupting?

Talk in your sleep.

How about a quickie?

Wife: As opposed to what

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What kinds of stories do dolphins tell around the campfire?

They're just ghost stories for all in tents and porpoises.

How do you know when someone smokes weed?

Dont worry, they'll tell you.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What's your opinion on birds?

Well, they're pretty fly if you ask me.

What did the commitment averse monster truck announcer say to his girlfriend when she asked him, "When are you going to finally ask me to marry you?

SOMEDAY ###SOMEDAY! ###SOMEDAY!!

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why should you always rent, rather than buy, a multimeter that measures ohms?

Because it's easier to follow the path of leased resistance.

Why hang Wanted posters in the post office?

We're not crime-fighting crusaders. We're buying stamps.

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

What do you feel when you shoot a terrorist?

The Marine shrugged and replied, "Recoil."

Why must you question everything I say!?

Everything " I replied

New York Times Jokes More New York Times Jokes

Why the chicken cross the road .... to get the Chinese newspaper. Do you get it?

Neither do I, I get the new york times

How can I buy the New York Times?

He replies "Ask my wife. She'll tell you how you do it.