What do you use to compare and contrast nordic cultures?

A Sven diagram!

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Why do ghosts never age?

They use Bootox.

What do people who refuse to fight use as weapons?

Their pacifists

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Why did the music critic compare the song to a foul-mouthed mixture of sand and wind?

Because it was Da-rude Sandstorm

How do Buddhist monks compare interests?

With zen diagrams!