What does a 500 pound parakeet say?

TWEET!!!

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Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

Why can't we edit tweets?

Because if we could I would edit a tweet with 2,000 retweets to say "RT if you hate puppies and babies."

Why did the boy carry a clock and a bird on Halloween ?

It was for 'tick or tweet' !

500 Pound Jokes More 500 Pound Jokes

What does a 500 pound parakeet say?

TWEET!!!

What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog asleep on your bed?

Sleep on the sofa.