What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog asleep on your bed?

Sleep on the sofa.

Previous Random Joke Next
Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What is the difference between a GOOD and a BAD girl?

What is the difference between a GOOD and a BAD girl? A GOOD girl goes to a party, goes home then goes to bed. A BAD girl goes to a party, goes to bed then goes home.

What's warm, white, and I drink almost every night?

Warm milk before bed... Get your mind out of the gutter!

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What did the chemist say when he found out his two pet dogs died?

Barium

What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?

Norman Rock Wells.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

How many women have you slept with wife asked husband, "How many women have you slept with?

he proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

What does a man often wake with, but can never go to sleep with?

An alarm, you pervert!

Sofa Jokes More Sofa Jokes

Why did the woman turn to her husband and say "now who the hell would dump such a nice sofa out here in the woods?

She was looking at a bear and thought it was a sofa due to the four legs.

Why is a sofa like a roast chicken ?

Because they're both full of stuffing !

500 Pound Jokes More 500 Pound Jokes

What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog asleep on your bed?

Sleep on the sofa.

What does a 500 pound parakeet say?

TWEET!!!