Why did the woman turn to her husband and say "now who the hell would dump such a nice sofa out here in the woods?

She was looking at a bear and thought it was a sofa due to the four legs.

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Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas?

I don't know, he hasn't opened his presents yet.

What do you call a Chinese lady with no legs?

Dragon lips. And a Mexican lady with no legs Consuelo.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

How many Apple executives does it take to change a light bulb?

They dont. They turn it into the hype of the new generation.

Why are there no pictures of Ted Cruz holding a baby?

They always turn out blurry from him shaking them.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why was the little black kid with diarrhea crying?

Because he thought he was melting.

What did one hand say to the other?

Help, I think I'm in glove".

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What if you go missing?

How do you expect us to find you if you look like beyonce on Facebook.

What makes Stevie wonder?

What everything looks like.

Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

What did the 80 grit sandpaper say to the 36 grit sandpaper?

You're a little rougher than I'm used to, but I'll grit and bear it. I'm sorry, that joke was a little rough ;D

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

Bare Grylls

Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

How did pinocchio find out that he was made out of wood?

His hand caught fire.

What's little, brown, and found in the woods?

Winnies' pooh.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

How do you pick up women in Auschwitz?

With a broom &amp dustpan.

How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart?

When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me" .

Dump Jokes More Dump Jokes

Whats the difference between a girl and a washing machine?

When I dump a load in the washing machince, it doesnt follow me around

Why did the banker dump his girlfriend?

He lost interest.

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

How do I look?

I just came back from the beauty salon.... Husband - Well. Was it closed

What size bed comfortably fits a married couple?

Twin. Because the husband has to sleep on the couch.

Hell Jokes More Hell Jokes

What do you get when you mix an octopus with a black guy?

Idk but it sure as hell can pick cotton

What's black and got ten arms?

I've got no idea, but it probably can pick cotton like hell.

Sofa Jokes More Sofa Jokes

What do you get if you cross a cow a french fry and a sofa?

A cowch potato!

Why couldn't the Buddha hoover under the sofa?

Because he had no attachments