What does a retired Olympic sprinter have in common with Bernie Sanders?

He quit running.

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Quit Jokes More Quit Jokes

What did Pinocchio say to Rudolph when he asked him what he asked for Christmas?

Quit being nosey.

How did you lose your last job?

I quit because I wanted a career with a bright future." Sir, this is McDonald's.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What'd you do?

PERSON: Ran a half-marathon and helped my pal move. You ME: I talked to like 4 people.

Why shouldn't you run over a mexican kid on a bike?

Because it might be your bike.

Bernie Sanders Jokes More Bernie Sanders Jokes

Why does Bernie Sanders hate icebergs?

Because only the top 1% can stay above water.

Why does Bernie Sanders use Snapchat?

Damn E-mails!