What does a strong shoulder do when it doesn't know how to get any stronger?

Shrugs.

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How'd family dinner go?

ME: Huge mess to clean. F: It's spotless! M: *sprays luminol* You'd never know they were even here.

The punchline often arrives before the set-up.

Do you know the problem with UDP jokes?

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Why do you love me?

Wife: *shrugs* Me: Why do you find me annoying Wife: *reveals six spreadsheets and a pie chart*

What did the grocery store owner say to the customer that asked him if he sold tires?

He shrugged and said, "I've got asparagus."