What happened when electricity was first discovered?

Fred: Someone got a nasty shock.

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What happened when Smokey the Bear started the forest fire?

A: He got arrested just like you would've.

What happens to the cannibal who is late to the party?

He gets the cold shoulder.

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What happened to be, she, and they... ...when they were discovered face-down in the mud?

They were PRONOUNS dead

What did the math major say to himself when he discovered that he was no longer a sapling?

Gee, I'm a tree.

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What did Russians used to light their houses with before candles?

Electricity.

What did Sean Connery say when he noticed that there wasn't any electricity in the Pennsylvania countryside?

Shomething'sh Amish..."