What happens when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner.

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What's the worst thing that could happen?

If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

What happens when a midget smokes weed?

He gets medium.

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How are that many Republicans candidates supposed to debate each other at once?

Throw a dollar bill in the floor and let the last one alive run for president.

What was it called when the dragon from The Hobbit was thrown out a window?

The Defenestration of Smaug.