What language do teapots speak?

Teabrew.

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What do you call a guy who pretends he can speak French?

A francophony

How do you keep a group of women from talking?

Ask the oldest one to speak first.

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What language do Fed-Ex drivers speak?

Parcel-tongue

What language do eagles program in?

C#(https://np.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/3tp03o/incanadawehavesomenicefalcons/cx8608n)