What paper product speaks really quickly?

Wrapping paper.

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Speak Jokes More Speak Jokes

What language do the Vatican Police speak?

Pig Latin!

Why did the chemist join the Pentecostal church?

He wanted to speak in tungsten.

Paper Jokes More Paper Jokes

How did the mathematician solve his constipation problems?

The same way he solved all other problems: He worked it out with a pencil and paper.

Why do they ask you if you want paper or plastic at the supermarket?

Because baggers can't be choosers.

Wrap Jokes More Wrap Jokes

How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?

He didn't wrap his Whopper

How are we out already?

ME: *hiding dog that I wrapped up like a mummy* it's a mystery I guess