What's the best part of having a kid?

The chewy center.

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Why did the kid punch the bed?

His mother told him to hit the hay.

What's your dad do?

Kid: My dad He's an actor Me: Why Couldn't you get a real dad

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What's the best part about dating a homeless chick ?

You can drop her off anywhere

What's the best part of an ISIS joke?

The Execution. Hehe...get it? No? Fine I'll be-heading off now.