What's the most emotional computer you can buy?

A Dell.

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What do you call a computer that says hello to you when you start it up?

A Dell.

What kind of computer says "Hello"?

A Dell

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What is the difference between a hog and a man?

A: A hog doesn't have to sit in a bar and buy drinks all night just so he can f*** some pig.

What happens when the President dies?

The Vice President takes over. What happens when the Vice President dies? The Speaker of the House takes over. What happens when the Speaker of the House dies? You go to Radio Shack and buy a new speaker.