What's the only thing politicians stand for?

Reelection.

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What is atheism?

A non-prophet religion Edit: Replace the word "religion" with "set of beliefs" if you're picky about that sort of thing

What's the only thing that grows in Ferguson?

The crime rate.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

Why would people always stand still to hide from Martin Luther King Jr.?

His vision was based on movements.

What do you call a woman standing in the middle of at tennis court?

Annette!

Politician Jokes More Politician Jokes

What body movements alert you that a politician is lying?

His lips are moving.

What's the difference between a robber and a politician?

Politicians run BEFORE they steal your money.