Mom, sad): He went to Jared.
No, no. Dad wouldn't allow that."
Mom of kid: We don't believe in sugar. Me: I promise it's real. I've seen it with my own eyes.
Because he ate too much of them.
Because he hit a bump in the road. What was the bump in the road? Little Timmy.
He dumped his girlfriend.
He kicked two 7-year-olds out of his bed.
