What time of day are you not able to find your watch?

4:04

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What will you find in the toilet of a ship?

The captains log.

Why is it so difficult for women to find a man who is sensitive, caring, and good looking?

All of those guys already have boyfriends.

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What did the cocaine addict say to his drug of choice?

I'm kinda busy, I won't be able to stay any longer, smell ya later" PS: the addict died that day from severe delusions that his coke was talking blanket, lot of coke....

What do you call the day before Christmas Eve?

Christmas Adam

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Why do we never take the time to thank mislabeled concrete?

It's mistaken for granite.

Which candy is never on time?

Choco-late.

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What is the term for someone that gets aroused watching Star Wars?

They have a Bobba Fetish

Why did the guy cut a hole in his carpet?

He wanted to watch the floor show. And why did he cover it back up ...He realized that he didn't want to watch the "hole" show.