Whats black and sits at the top of the stairs after a house fire?

Stephen Hawking's

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Whats the difference between a sly pig and a yeast infection?

One's a cunning runt.....

Whats the difference between a zippo and a hippo?

One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

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What is Stephen Hawking's favorite snack?

His left shoulder

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie?

Stephen Hawking doesn't walkie or talkie.