Whats black and sits at the top of the stairs after a house fire?

Stephen Hawking's

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Why dont applebees employees wear watches?

Cuz theres a clock on the microwave

Whats the most addictive drug you can formulate out of a piece of the human body?

Hairoin

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What's the quietest album in the world?

Stephen Hawking - unplugged

Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell?

Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.