When last did you get lit?

Me: This morning. It was really sunny so I was well illuminated.

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Light Jokes More Light Jokes

How many heretics does it take to change a lightbulb?

We're not sure, they've yet to see the light.

How to make a dog meow or your cat bark?

Freeze your dog and then take an angle grinder and use it on your dog and it Will say meeeeeow. Dunk your cat in gasoline and light it on fire and it Will say woof

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?

A: They don't have balls to scratch.

I dropped a pear in my car this morning.

You should drop another one, then you would have a pair.