Where do you find a down-and-out octopus ?

On squid row !

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What did the chemist say when he found out his two pet dogs died?

Barium

What happened to German Orphans after WW2?

Did they ever get back on the Reich track (I saw the post in /r/history earlier and was disappointed to find it was a serious question. I fixed it.)

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What did one octopus say to the other octopus?

Will you hold my hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand

Why couldn't the octopus take off her bra?

It had suction cups.