What animal do I respect most?

The octopus. I have no idea what to do with my hands most of the time, and I only have two of them.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What time does Sean Connery go to Wimbledon?

Ten-ish.

What has eight arms and tells the time?

A clocktopus Shoutout to the popper from my Xmas dinner

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What did the girl with no hands get for her birthday?

I don't know, she hasn't opened it

What u doing later?

Wife: That's not what I meant by pick up my towel. Just hand it to me, idiot.

Animal Jokes More Animal Jokes

Why do neurologists think they're God?

Because they can turn any animal into a vegetable!

What animal will you always see at a resturant?

A DINE-O-SAUR. I think my brother is a future stand-up comic.

Octopus Jokes More Octopus Jokes

What's an octopuses favourite latin saying?

Squid pro quo!

What do you call an octopus that's missing one tentacle?

Octopus Prime.

Idea Jokes More Idea Jokes

How about baked chocolate cake?

Nah" "Yummy choccy bake " "No" Guy who named the orange: I have an idea...

What do you get when 1000 politicians have an idea?

A dim light.

Respect Jokes More Respect Jokes

How many Gentlesirs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Screw is such a harsh word, M'Lightbulb. I have too much respect for lamps to use it." Tips fedora

What animal do I respect most?

The octopus. I have no idea what to do with my hands most of the time, and I only have two of them.