Respect Jokes

How many Gentlesirs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Screw is such a harsh word, M'Lightbulb. I have too much respect for lamps to use it." Tips fedora

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Why don't poor people go to funerals?

They can't afford to pay respects.

What do you call a well respected slave?

A butler.

What animal do I respect most?

The octopus. I have no idea what to do with my hands most of the time, and I only have two of them.

Why in the hell do you have so much respect but I don't?

Cat: "You 'bow' while me 'owe'."

What profession was once highly respected, but is now a complete joke?

Nigerian Prince Thanks r/askreddit for the idea

What's the integral of 1/cabin with respect to cabin?

Person 2: A log cabin! Person 1: No, a houseboat. You forgot to add the C!!

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Hell Jokes More Hell Jokes

Why should the Roman Catholic Church allow priests to marry?

They would have a more detailed understanding of what Hell is actually like.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?

Hell-if-I-know

Funniest Jokes More Funniest Jokes

What's green and hangs from trees?

Elephant snot. Funniest part is seeing people's reaction when you tell it.

Who was the funniest Communist?

Roflmao

Racist Joke Jokes More Racist Joke Jokes

What does a racist joke and a crime have in common?

They both start with you looking over your shoulder.

How much do Americans like racist jokes?

Enough to make one President.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What did the yogi say to his friends when they asked him to leave?

Nah I'ma stay"

What gets harder the longer it stays in your mouth?

Bubblegum

Houseboat Jokes More Houseboat Jokes

What's the integral of 1/cabin with respect to cabin?

Person 2: A log cabin! Person 1: No, a houseboat. You forgot to add the C!!

What is the integral of 1/cabin?

B: "Log cabin!" A: "Nope, Houseboat. You forgot the C."

Bow Jokes More Bow Jokes

What do you call a Pirate who lost his anchor?

can't anchor us" /bow.. this is as clever as i get, people.. so sorry.

How can you tell if a violin is out of tune?

A: The bow is moving.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

How does Germany pay for all these refugees?

Krautfunding.

What's the difference between a Lima Bean and a Chick Pea?

I never payed a hundred bucks to have a Lima Bean on my face.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What did the snake say when another asked him the time ?

Don't asp me !

What does Reddit and Dating have in common?

It wastes your time and you walk away with either tears or a slight chuckle.