Screw is such a harsh word, M'Lightbulb. I have too much respect for lamps to use it." Tips fedora
Couple's Daily Question Mug
Coffee Mug
They can't afford to pay respects.
A butler.
The octopus. I have no idea what to do with my hands most of the time, and I only have two of them.
Cat: "You 'bow' while me 'owe'."
Nigerian Prince Thanks r/askreddit for the idea
Person 2: A log cabin! Person 1: No, a houseboat. You forgot to add the C!!
She replied "Forget finding the right woman, focus on being the right man."
A Fraudian slip.
Trilingual. What do you call a person who knows 2 languages Bilingual. What do you call a person who knows only one language American.
I find racist jokes to be the funniest! Share your best racist jokes here, but please stay respectful ;)
You'd think it'd be the punchline, but apparently it's funnier when the person feints...
Trick question. Deadheads screw in sleeping bags.
The bear minimum
Neither, it's diarrhea. Before you could think about it or even turn the lights on, you've already shat yourself.
I can go to sleep with a light on
Him: Um, YOU called ME.
I never even got a Straining Order I'm gonna go over to her house and sort this out.
Because she used the other to sing
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
Pover-tea.
They don't.
